Archive for January, 2011

Went to the Casting Call After All…

Went to the casting call today for Contagion. Wasn’t going to go since I was so exhausted this morning but I knew I would regret it if I didn’t. It was…err…fun. Well, mostly, I stood in a SUPER LONG line for 3 hours in the drizzle/partial sunny rain, reading The Screenwriter’s Bible by David Trottier. At the least, it was an experience that everyone should try at least once in their lifetime.

My friend took my photo about 15 times before we got a shot good enough to print out and forfeit. They gave us a card to complete and I had to complete a section that said “Special Skills (juggling, fire eater, play a musical instrument…)”. I couldn’t think of anything!! So all I wrote in that was “can play a filipino instrument called the kulintang, hula hoop.” PUWAAHHHAHAHAHA!!! Another question I couldn’t answer were my measurements. I mean, I’m just not one of those people who goes around knowing my measurements all day long and has special skills. I’m just not!

We were directed into a room where this guy (I guess the casting associate?) told us they were basically collecting our information and if we get called, we’ll get paid $64/non-union and $139/union per day and that they mostly shoot in the daytime. Crap, well that leaves me out for the weekdays right there! I’m not going to forego working to make $64 a day when I can make more than that, even if it means I might get to “rub elbows with Matt Damon.” Yes, some article actually wrote that to entice us common folk to go down there. The casting associate also said that if we can’t do it the day they ask us for, they won’t completely write us off, they’ll just call for another scene if they need us.

All in all, it was a good experience so far. If I get called, then I get called. If not, at least I tried. It certainly did make me think about going to more auditions, real ones I mean. I guess I’ll know in the next couple weeks what happened. Wish me luck!

Photo I submitted:

The line from yesterday at Ft. Mason:


Casting Call for Extras

Read that the upcoming film “Contagion” starring Matt Damon & Jude LAW will be filming in San Francisco and they need over 2000 extras. I’ve never actually attended an open casting call since I’m more of a writer than an actor but I think I’ll do it just for fun. Acting used to be an aspiration of mine so why not? Couldn’t hurt. It’s a 10-day shoot in San Francisco from Feb. 9 – Feb. 19 and there are a limited number of paid positions. You just need to bring a pen and a small photo of yourself. Sounds like fun! :0)

Just for legitimacy, this was found on On Location Vacations.

Birthday Wish

I hate that my birthday is on V-Day but what can I do? Real quick though, I know I’m not supposed to tell because it won’t happen but since I already know it won’t happen, I feel I can tell the world. When I blow out the candles this year, this is my wish.

I’d like to wake up to Will Friedle’s face every day. :0D HUBBA HUBBA…

Photo from Vivian Reed’s Boy Meets World Site

Truth in Blog

I tried all weekend to let my recent event inspire me to write a piece for the book. However, the more I thought about how a short story is constructed, the less I wanted to complete my piece. All I’ve written so far is what happened–no changing scenes, no climaxes, just what exactly happened. That does not make for a good read. I never really thought about how hard this would be to put into story form. I think by the time I finish my piece, the story will be inspired by the event, but the truth will remain here, as a story is just that–a story. My truth had no resolution so I had to write & rewrite my story until my pen ran out of ink.

Yes, I said ink. I like to write my stories on paper. That way, my initial thoughts cannot escape through the delete button. Initial drafts can be pretty lousy but sometimes, an initial sentence might come sneaking back into actually being clever so I keep it safe in a moleskin book. I come up with my most brilliant ideas & thoughts in th shower, believe it or not. Maybe they should come up with a blackboard with water-resistant markers that I can use in the shower so I can transfer it onto paper later. Yah, I know that idea will never sell so I’ll just have to learn to retain. Someday, I will write an amazing screenplay and if I ever get asked where I came up with the idea, I want my answer to be, “In the shower.”

I signed up for a screenwriting class this semester just in case someone else had something else to teach me. It starts tonight. My mom always asks me why I keep going back to school. A professor once taught me, “If you stop learning, you stop living.” If there’s any lesson of value that resonated with me from going to school all those years, that was it. Years of complaining how badly I wanted to get out of school only left me pining to get back in–so here I am, taking 3 classes, working a full time job, and trying to redesign my life.

The classes I signed up for are 1)Screenwriting, 2)Website Development, and 3)Drawing. I figured if I’m going to admit that I’m an inner artist, I might as well get some training to back myself up. I can’t become an artist if I don’t learn my craft. I’ve always wondered how artists relegate themselves into the type of lifestyle where it seems like all they do is work on their craft. What about money? How do they pay bills or buy art materials or even eat? I’m truly baffled as I have a full time job and I don’t spend all my time on my craft & I’m struggling like a drowning horse in a flash flood.

Anyway, I have to go to class and figure out how I’m going to get this story out from my brain to my book.

History vs. Herstory

Everyone needs an outlet, a vent, some form of place for us to be free to say what we want to say when society, friends or family restrict us from releasing our wrath. I’ve decided to take this recent camera event and let it inspire me to write a piece for the PMSTA look book. I don’t know what will come out of me once I begin to write but hopefully, it will be the closure I need to move on and let go of this calamity.

I used to watch episodes of Law & Order: SVU and wonder how I would handle such situations of despair, violence, and emotional turmoil. I’ve been bombarding my soul with Will Friedle youtube videos just to find a smile. I really love that guy. I think I need to take some time to step back & reflect, get some perspective and regurgitate whatever comes to mind. Hopefully, it will be something decent & worthy of publishing.


My friend got me a ticket to go to the Supernatural Convention yesterday. I didn’t want to do the Photo Op as it was $129(!!!) so I just did the general admission. It was nice to see Jared Padalecki in person again and to see Jensen Ackles in person for the first time! They look exactly the same as they do on TV. The last time I saw Jared in person was at the taping of Ellen in 2005 when Supernatural just started!!

To be honest, I only went hoping to see if Will Friedle might go to something like this. Is he a fan of the show? Who knows. I guess my chances of catching him at a convention would be more likely at a gaming convention or Comic-Con.

Jensen & Jared were so hilarious together. Here is a photo of them together. And some shots of them imitating some dances they do sometimes while filming.

Aren’t they handsome? We left after Jensen & Jared left the stage. My friend took a photo with Jensen and said “He was like an angel.” I’m so happy for her because as much as I love him, I’d have to say she loves him much more than I do. Maybe now she can understand how I feel whenever I see NKOTB in person. It’s like no other feeling in the world.

Overall, if another Supernatural convention were to come around, I think I would go as long as I had the money. I’d even take the photo with Jensen maybe. But then again, they didn’t seem too sure if Supernatural was going to have a 7th season so who knows?

Okay, just ONE more shot. Is it just me or does Jared look like Matt Damon in this shot?


My brother told me last night that my mom’s business partner finally moved out–just some clothes he needs to grab. I’m relieved. I still haven’t spoken to my mother yet since our argument two Fridays ago and I really do not know what to say to her. When I look back to reflect, I think the event was a blessing in disguise. I wanted my mother to see him for who he really is and it’s up to her to make a decision what kind of people she wants to keep in her life.

On Friday, my friend invited me out to dinner and it was the 1st time in awhile that I had been able to truly laugh. Mostly, I had been emotional eating, moping around, and declining invitations to go to events. Over the weekend, I spent some time with some high school friends, reminiscing about good times, how we met, and what we think our futures might look like. It felt really good to be able to laugh freely again and I appreciated that. Yesterday, one of my high school friends got me a ticket to the Supernatural Convention but I’ll write a separate post about that later. It’s so important to nurture the relationships with those around you. Without my friends, I don’t think I could have gotten through this ordeal. Whether it be a phone call, a text message, a meeting, facebook support, whatever, it all helped to soothe my aching soul.

All in all, I’m glad I finally get to go home without fear. This experience has shaped my trust in others. Good or bad, I’m not sure but I definitely know to be more cautious of the people that surround me. It isn’t easy trying to live a balanced life.


Haven’t been home for over a week now, just floating around to different homes of friends. My brother is acting as a liaison between my mother and I. How did our relationship get reduced to this? Now all of a sudden, he said she told him she has cancer. The sad part is that I don’t believe her. I know how my mother operates and when she wants her way, she uses sympathy. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m a skeptic. Or maybe I’m just a cold-hearted daughter. Whatever I am, I know I’m right in reporting it to the police. Are there other points of views I’m not seeing? Should I just let this go & get on with my life? They never even served the restraining order because they couldn’t get into the building. Great.

Perhaps today I will give my mother a call. She left me a message & apologized…but for what? For choosing him over me? For letting him get away with something like this? For not acting like a mother who will protect her children at all costs? I never asked her to choose, I just asked her to help me get justice. Apparently, that’s too much to ask for.


Finally told my mother, my aunt & my grandmother about the incident. Turns out, my mother was informed about it on Wednesday, but she never called me to talk to me about it. She did not do anything to help me, as if it never happened as long as she never spoke to me. Before I went to talk to her, I talked to the police officer & he asked me what did I think my mom would say. I said that I didn’t think she would support me & would just ask me to let it go.

I was right.

He told her that he was just testing out the camera because someone had told him it works in humid conditions. He told her he forgot to remove it from the bathroom. I can’t believe my mother bought that story. Or rather, I can’t believe she chose to believe him over me. She seems to think it was no big deal, no harm done, nothing to get upset over because he already apologized in a text message.

I’ve never yelled at my mother before. I’ve never had a reason to. My grandmother & my mother both begged & pleaded with me to let it go because he had helped out family in the past–but I don’t live in the past, I live in the present. It’s cliche but like they say, trust takes years to build and seconds to shatter. I wanted to trust that my mother would stand behind me and make sure I get the justice I deserved. I wanted to trust that things were going to be ok. I wanted to know that I can always count on her for anything. I see now that I cannot look up to her for strength. I cannot turn to her for help. I cannot rely on her to choose me over a stranger.

So while he is sleeping soundly in his own bed, I am forced to float around on the generosity of others. As grateful as I am that my circle of support is vast & unchallenged, I would still like to go home and sleep on my own pillow, watch my own television, type on my own computer. They continually ask me to forgive him. Maybe someday, I will be able to forgive him, but it seems the lines between forgiveness & consequences are blurred for my mother & my grandmother. Just because I forgive him won’t mean that I don’t expect him to pay for his actions.

I’ve never done so much emotional eating as I have the past 5 days. All that seems to feed my soul is food & Will Friedle videos. Got my Boy Meets World DVDs today and it’s the only thing putting a smile on my face. Sigh…

I’ve never fully realized how weak my mother’s soul is. I shall pray for her and hope that one day, she will forgive me for being stronger than her.


I decided to go to the police that night. Got the incident documented & the police took the camera. The policeman called me a “victim of crime.” I’ve been called many things but never a victim. It hit home. I am feeling a whirlwind of emotions. Could not concentrate at work yesterday. Finally, I decided to file a restraining order & I went to do just that today. I took half the day off work just to do this. Now who’s going to pay me for my work loss?

I haven’t even been home since the incident. I am afraid he will be there. Who knows where else there is a camera streaming? Who knows how long this has been going on? Does he think texting me a lame apology is going to right his wrongs? I am emotionally distressed. Every time I see a blue minivan, I freak out that it might be him. 

The restraining order does not say he has to stay so-and-so yards away from me, just that he cannot hit me, follow me, block me, contact me, try to find out my addresses, numbers, etc. How awkward is this, he can live with me but I have a restraining order against him? 

Anyway, my hearing is in 3 weeks. Right now, I have the daunting task of telling my mother. She’s going to be so sad.

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