Killing My Baby


I spent 6 hours at a meeting yesterday and we ended up tossing my work in the garbage. It’s fine, I’m not sad about it or anything. It was a backup anyway. We’re going to go with my primary baby. The only hard part was that I wish I knew ahead of time that I was going to end up scrapping it. I spent four days writing up this script adapted from my monologue and to end up having to scrap the whole script was painful.

Four days is a record time for me, considering my last script took me two years to finish. I AM glad, however, that everyone liked the monologue better. The only reason I wrote the stage script was because I wrote the monologue for the photography lookbook we were going to do. Alas, I was given the sad news that the lookbook has been put on hold, and I felt the need to quickly adapt the monologue with dialogue and stage directions since I wasn’t able to envision the monologue as a stage performance just yet, only as light reading.

It perturbed me to produce the stage script because I hated every word, every transition, every empty dialogue I had placed any effort into writing. Hmm, now that I think about it, maybe I subconciously sabatoged myself into writing a horrible script, hoping the monologue would have a 100% chance of shining through when being compared side by side. It’s not like it would have been the first time for me to sabatoge myself on purpose.

I remember doing my very first audition. I didn’t want my first performance to be drama, I wanted it to be comedy. However, the part they wanted me to read was drama so I purposely did a horrible job on the drama audition so that I wouldn’t get casted by the director of that piece. Subsequently, they gave me a comedic piece to read and needless to say, I was casted for the comedic piece. Thus, completing my mission of wanting my 1st stage performance to be comedy.

Of course now, I’m down to do any genre. Comedy, drama, horror, whatever. As long as I’m having fun, I will commit myself to doing my job 110%. I’m really excited now to complete this monologue piece now that I’ve gotten some feedback on it from my peers. Stage directions will be the next step in finishing this draft. I’m excited to dive into the actual casting & rehearsing of it. As a matter of fact, ALL the pieces that will be in the show sound amazing. I’m overexcited to get it up and running.

Here are some excerpts from the monologue and the stage script.

Monologue:

      “He is too short.” She would tell me all the reasons why he’s not right for her. I decided not to encourage her to pursue him. Most likely, she already knew the outcome. Instead, she chose to continue living her façade of a perfect life in the eyes of her friends. After a decade of building her pretty world, the walls began to wobble.
      A couple of days ago, I saw a bulk toothpaste box with a hole cut out of it that was facing me while I was showering. My mind became curious. I wondered what it was. I mean, why would anyone carve a hole in a toothpaste box? I picked it up and peered into the hole, only to see my own eyes staring right back at me.

Script:

SARAH
What’s wrong, mom? You seem so sad.

MOM
Oh nothing. It’s just that James
was vomiting blood today. I think
he’s getting sick.

Sarah & Steven glance at each other and grin.

MOM (CONT’D)
Are you sure you don’t want some
food? There’s some more rice still.
I made eggs with barbecued pork.
That’s your favorite, right?

STEVEN
We don’t want any food, mom. We
have to talk to you about
something.

Mom stops washing dishes and turns around. She looks uncomfortable.

MOM
Talk about what?

Steven looks at Sarah, signaling for a response. Sarah remains silent, unable to begin. Steven eagerly responds to mom.

STEVEN
Sarah has something to tell you.

And there it is. Pretty bad. Sometimes, you just have to kill your baby.

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1 Comment »

  1. […] I guess it’s from all the chocolate I ate at work. I always did say that I tend to sabotage myself, either consciously or subconsciously. It’s ok, it’s 2011 and we have photoshop […]


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