It Begins with 7 lbs.

Diet, schmiet. Really sad today because I gained back all the weight I lost from the cruise & post cruise. Yep, all 7 lbs. Doesn’t sound like alot but think of it, 5 lbs. is a medium bag of rice. add on the weight of 1/2 of a big 2 liter bottle of soda and there you have it-7 lbs. It all started with the back pain. I got used to lying around, doing nothing and just eating.
Ugh, I’m so fuckin’ disappointed with myself. And it doesn’t help that I chose to take on a new side business that requires almost no activity on my part besides my hands. I can already see myself 30 years from now, hunched over on a desk, wearing thick glasses, white hair, layer upon layers of sweaters, a “Kiss the Chef” apron with large pockets filled with pliers & thread, and orthopedic shoes that are snug on my weary feet. I’m surrounded by jewelry hanging on hooks all over the walls and multiple pieces lying on tables around me, a single 1990s lamp on my desk, shining on my current masterpiece, and dirty windows with frosted glass that are painted shut except for one, which I open every time I have to use any glue so that I don’t inhale the fumes.
As if I would really want to prolong my life at that point. I would need to look at the bigger picture. What would I have accomplished? Am I married? Do I have children? Do I own the house I’m working in? Did I ever get the samoyed I always wanted? Am I still into music? Did I ever learn how to drive a stickshift car? What happened to my deteriorating knees? Am I still able to drive or do I need a taxi every time? Did I ever meet my beloved Will Friedle? Are WE married to each other? Hey, I had to throw that in there.
So many questions, I could go on. And it all began with 7 lbs. Why did I just think of Will Smith right now? I never even saw that movie…it’s time to make changes.

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