Archive for September, 2011


Life has a funny way of saying “Hey! I’m short.” Why does it have to take tragedy to make us open our eyes and to stop taking life for granted? A friend of mine, we called him E, passed away early yesterday. My day had been filled with sorrow & glum. I spent the day reflecting, reminiscing and remembering him with others who deeply missed him as well. Rehearsals were cancelled and the Bindlestiff family gathered at the theater to grieve together. Some faces, I hadn’t seen in awhile. I wish we had reunited under different circumstances.

He was a community advocate in every way. He has touched so many lives including mine. I’ll never forget how welcoming he was to me. My first few months with Bindlestiff Studio had me step in as a shy & quiet young woman, seeking acceptance and growth. He had a way of teaching you his wisdom in life. He made me feel like I belonged. He made me feel like family and I can never forget how warm his big bear hugs were. I hope that wherever he is now, he knows that for those he left behind, we are anticipating the day we meet again.

Until then, e.ternal. Love you.

With e

Music To My Heart

Music has always had the ability to move me. In case you don’t know, I’m a slow jam junkie. I listen to music all the time and while some of my music selections are uhh, let’s say questionable; every once in awhile, I’ll come across a ballad that touches me & elicits strong emotions. It’s not the lyrics or the voice or the instruments, but rather, a combination of all of them to create a blended bliss. The song has the power to release tears from my heart. Here are a few of those beautiful voices I fell in love with in order of favorites. If anyone has any favorites to share, please let me know. I’d love to hear them.

Tonilyn Sideco (original song, I love this girl)

Amel Larrieux (so happy she kept singing after Groove Theory)
“Make Me Whole”

Adele (lyrical genius)
“Someone Like You”

A Girl Called Eddy (sought this song after hearing it in a theater show)
“Somebody Hurt You”

Esmee Denters (before she was famous)
“Irreplaceable” BeyoncĂ© cover

Two Kids, One Hall

Went to Cobb’s Comedy Club last week to see “Two Kids, One Hall” starring Scott Thompson & Kevin McDonald. The Kids In The Hall have been inspiring me to write since 1994. I can still recall my high school nights when I used to set my alarm to wake me up at the ghastly hour of 3 AM just so I could catch their show on CBS. Back then, we had a VCR and in order to record without commercials, I had to sit in front of the TV and watch through the whole thing with my finger on Pause. I ended up filling 6 videotapes with sketches of Kids In The Hall that I had recorded manually. I kept a notebook and labeled each sketch with my own titles. I didn’t use the official titles that the sketches were given, but my own rather. I knew the sketches so well that I was able to label them on my own and I’d know the sketch from beginning to end just by that one sentence/line/character plot. I put asterisk marks on those that were my favorites & I marked where the sketches of my favorite recurring characters were.

The Kids In The Hall changed my life. I used to write about happiness, love, puppy dogs & rainbows. They gave me the inspiration & motivation to write about the darker side of life such as pus boils, bitter bus rides, jealousy and death. It was a glorious epiphany that gave me great pleasure in discovering what emotions I could bleed onto paper. Just the other day, I was going through an old folder I had found and inside were my submissions to my high school’s literary magazine, “Between The Lines”. Reading through my old work made me realize how frazzled my mind was and yet how much it was attempting to mature. I submitted 5 pieces and the one that got in was titled, “My Letter To You.” I think the current me would have completely written off this piece as pure garbage but at the same time, it didn’t have any hidden meanings to it so I was able to recall all the emotions that I encompassed while writing it.

My Letter To You

Hey you, know what?
Nothing good ever happens to me.
Even if I tried to make something good happen
It always goes belly up in front of my face.
I could try and change things but my fate is the fact that
Nothing good ever happens to me.
Face it hon, when I found those kittens at my doorstep that day,
They were meant for me to see them die. An intention.
In a sense, they were already dead once they met me.
The day they died, I blamed myself and I still do.
I should’ve taken them to get shots but I didn’t know.
    I never had a pet before.
Wish they were my pets. Watching them die was the hardest part.
Body shivering, legs shaking, eyes watering, heart breaking.
The kittens were doing the same too.
I never forgave myself, all I did was blame myself because
Nothing good ever happens to me.
Some nights, I wait for something to do but there’s none.
I’d turn on the TV, look around for the remote, and
watch reruns of The Kids In The Hall, wondering when
am I going to meet David Foley, one of these “Kids.”
I’d get so bored I even had time to become obsessed with the show.
Like my craze for San Francisco’s Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream.
    Can you imagine that?
    Get a life, girl.
Ha ha ha, I would say, whenever they showed a real funny sketch.
Not witty funny, but stupid funny, Sure you can learn from TV.
    “Love Hurts”
    “Never Put Salt In Your Eyes”
It reminded me of when I grew up watching The Benny Hill Show.
That was a time when all I could do to stay happy was to laugh.
Laugh. Laugh. Laugh. Hardy Har Har Har.
It was so bizarre to laugh extraneously in class with a friend.
I got in big trouble with the teacher for that because
Nothing good ever happens to me.
When I liked this guy in school way back then,
I wanted to say something but I had no guts to,
Too afraid of ruining our almost nonexistent so-called
I promised myself I would tell him someday. Someday.
Damn. Waited so long, he got taken by another girl.
I had to keep away from him so that I wouldn’t break down.
Now, we don’t even talk anymore. Not that we ever really did.
    What a shame.
One friendship lost. How many more to go>
My fault. Always my fault. It’s always my fault because
Nothing good ever happens to me. Nothing.
Everything left to happen to anybody always happens to you,
my dear best friend. You, You, You. Always.

Wow, pretty crappy but this is where it begins. I am constantly learning, growing, living & creating. Thank you, Kids In The Hall, for launching my motivation to explore my writing. My adulation for everything you all do is massive & everlasting.
Scott Thompson & Ava

Trip to LA

My Labor Day weekend was fantastic! Two of my friends, Judith & Lisa, were supposed to go to Universal Studios back in July but they had to postpone it to Labor Day. I had been wanting to go to Universal Studios ever since I watched Jason Marsden’s vacation video to Universal Studios Florida. While I couldn’t go to Florida, I figured Universal Studios Hollywood was the next best thing. Our plan was to drive down Friday, go to Universal Studios Sat, have dinner with our SoCal friend, Yvonne, & go to Universal again on Sun and go home Monday.

We went to rent an Intermediate car like a Chevy Cruze from Avis Rentals but when we got there, they upgraded us to an semi SUV for no extra charge! It was a Hyundai Santa Fe. Plus, with Avis, if you prepay upfront, it’s discounted so it’s like we got a super discount. Yay for saving money! We stayed at a low budget Travelodge in Burbank and arrived at 4 AM. Right away, we hit the sheets & fell asleep. All that driving took a toll on us even though I took a nap for about an hour.

Universal Studios was our first stop. It’s a lot smaller than I remember. Of course then again, I haven’t been there since 1995 so of course, things changed. My favorite part of Universal was the King Kong exhibit on the Studio Tour! The history goes that the King Kong exhibit was burned down in June of 2008. Peter Jackson, who produced/directed King Kong in 2005 & is also the producer/director of the Lord Of The Rings franchise, was brought in to remake the King Kong exhibit. I was beyond impressed! I took a video and you’ll probably hear me screaming throughout the whole experience trip, haha! It was all in 3D and I’m not talking about that crappy 3D you see with blue & red goggles. It was super realistic! I loved it, I wanted to go back! Peter Jackson should figure out a way to redo the JAWS exhibit. I also went to the Special Effects show which was exhilarating for me since I want to get into filmmaking. (ooh, remind me to talk about that later.)

After Universal, we met up with Yvonne to have a delicious Korean BBQ dinner! I LOVE Korean food. We ended up at Soowon Galbi BBQ in Koreatown. It was delicious! We decided not to get crazy so we just ordered 2 orders of bulgogi to share between all of us. Judith ordered a bottle of soju and drank most of it herself. I’m not a big alcohol fan so I only tried a little bit. I prefer Moscato. :0) Then we went to have some dessert and ended up at House of Pies where I ran into an old friend, Aldrich. I used to be Danny Kalanduyan’s teaching assistant for a music class that taught kulintang and Aldrich was one of the students. I wonder if he still plays. I miss playing kulintang. I’ll have to restart & remember.

Anyway, the next day, we decided not to go to Universal and head to the movies instead. Judith & Lisa wanted to see The Help and so did I. I found a theater on fandango near us so we went to the Arclight Sherman Oaks theater. We got there just in time. However, since we had never been there, we had no idea that the movie was $14.50 and assigned seating! What the hell! I was outraged. So, in our own defiance, we sat in seats that we were not assigned so there. Take that, Arclight! Haha! The movie was great!! But no movie is worth $14.50, ok? And that’s that. Afterwards, we didn’t know what to do so we searched the internet for activities and ended up at the Museum of Death. It was soul disturbing, to say the least. I never knew Freddie Prinze Jr.’s dad committed suicide. There were displays that made it seem like you were walking into a DOA scene. *shivers*

After we left the Museum of Death, we were so down & depressed that we needed to find something to do that would pull our moods back up. We decided that looking for the Hollywood sign would do just that! We found some directions online and followed the yellow brick road to Hollywood. So, you go to the corner of Franklin & Beachwood, you turn into Beachwood in the direction towards the mountains. There will be a sign saying No Access to Hollywood Sign but just ignore it and keep going. Eventually, you will get to a driveway and there will be a small parking lot up the hill. Then you have to hike your way up to the sign. We were not prepared to hike up all the way so we went as far as we could and took some photos from afar. After that, we decided to go get dinner. I was in the mood for pasta so I yelped it and made a reservation at a place called Osteria La Buca. We got there and were seated near the door. During dinner, Lisa & Judith noticed a guy outside with his girlfriend and they both realized it was David Anders from Alias & Heroes. I don’t watch much TV so I was like, “Who the fuck is that?” However, I was very entertained by their excitement.

That night, I went out and drove myself to Pink’s because I had been wanting to try their hot dogs for the longest time! I ended up with a Chili Cheese Hot Dog and it was delicious! All in all, my trip was a blast and I’m glad my friends let me tag along. I finally finished editing my video for the trip so instead of reading this whole thing, you could’ve just opted to watch it. I’m learning how to edit so bear with me! Damn, iMovie is super limited!

Death of a Player Kickstarter

The Kickstarter page for our show is finally up! We’re in full force now. We need to raise $5000 so please feel free to donate or share the link! Support independent theater and come to our show!!

PMSTA Death of a Player – Kickstarter