Archive for April 13, 2012

Oh How I Wish

As I wandered around the convention center looking for nothing at all, I spotted him. He was seated in a chair, holding a bus transfer with an amused expression on his beautifully shaved face. His printed white t-shirt was difficult to read as the image was so busy but I didn’t care. My 15-year-old self wanted to slam itself against his body & hold him forever. He put his hand up to cover his eyes and smiled while he shook his head.
“Are you okay?” I approached him as nonthreateningly as I possibly could. I smiled. He smiled.
“Yeah, yeah. Look at this, it says 2.5.” He pointed to his transfer. I didn’t understand what he was so amused by. This ‘2.5’ he kept speaking of meant nothing to me but I giggled at his amusement. He might have thought I shared his amusement so we giggled together. “I’m Will.” He reached out his hand to me.
“I’m Ava.” I shook his hand and we started walking around the convention center together. At one point, he mentioned a couple of films he made. He walked over to a table & rummaged through a few DVDs. He made a selection, took it over to a film festival submission booth & threw it into a box filled with other DVDs. He pointed to a young African-American man and said, “Ready to go?” to which he nodded.
“I thought you were going to give that to me!” I yelled, trying to speak above the noisy crowd that had divided us.
“Nope, cause you’re coming to see it at the festival, right?” His dimples made my knees buckle. A warm haze came over me and I nodded.
“Okay, where is it at?” I was hoping it would be in Northern California where I was at but he replied with an unrecognizable city. “Is that in Norcal or Socal?” I couldn’t figure it out.
“Onecal!” I could tell he wasn’t really sure so he just made it up. I relished in the fact that this complete stranger, someone I had been longing to meet since I was 15 was requesting my presence at his film debut. I couldn’t have been happier. “Let me give you my number in case you have any questions!” He scrambled for a piece of paper.
“Okay, I’ll give you my contact info too, just in case.” At this point, my inner self was doing the Running Man/Cabbage Patch combination while my outer self struggled to remain calm while searching for a piece of scratch paper to write on.
My friend, Roczane, spotted me & waved hi. I waved hi back but I couldn’t speak to her at the moment. My mind was too concentrated on exchanging contact info with Will. Eventually, he gave me his number & email, which at first glance, looked like a mathematic equation. I thought, “He’s a dork…I LOVE IT!” We hugged & I watched him walk out the door. I turned to Roczane, walked up to her & started doing the Running Man so fast I missed my step.
“Who was that?” Roczane grabbed a hold of me before I fell down.
“Will Friedle. My favorite actor in the whole wide world.” Roczane & I now had an understanding of my personal victory so she hugged me & congratulated me.

I was proud of myself & how I behaved. When I woke up, I didn’t want to. Then I recalled Last Night and wondered, “Why does Will always have a black friend in my dreams?” I just love how my subconcious always keep Will in the back of my mind, hidden in a secret drawer. While I may not always talk about him on a daily basis or even think about him, he’s there. The best part is that sometimes, my dreams come true & I experience deja vu. I’m waiting…


Detox Day 11

I think I need a break. Oh, who am I kidding? I completely broke on this day. I drank orange juice during lunch & ate Crab & Corn chowder for dinner! You just don’t refuse a free bowl of Crab & Corn chowder from free room service. Well you know what? It was DELICIOUS! Was it worth the pound I gained? Nope. I think I need to take a break from this detox, at least for a couple of days. Is that a good idea though? I no longer have sugar cravings since I’ve been off of sugar for almost two weeks. Then again, I was never addicted to it much int he first place. I used to be able to stick with a diet for at least 3 weeks & now it’s down to 10 days? Hmm, I wonder if there’s a diet out there that only lasts 10 days, haha! Yeah, right. A fad diet, I’m sure. I’ll see how today blows over & decide what’s worth it & what’s not. Ugh, I hate dieting!!!

Soft-boiled eggs

Orange juice (Tropicana)
Scrambled eggs with fuzzy melon
Brown rice
Yao choy


Crab & Corn Chowder
Chicken Tender

Weight lost as of 4/2/12: 4 lbs.