Thankful For You


Blogging to this song on repeat…

This Thanksgiving, my mom, my grandmother and my aunt, the three matriarchs of the family have again left before the holidays to go to Hong Kong like they did last year. I understand the tickets are cheaper, but I just wish they would at least prepare me instead of letting me know an hour before they are leaving for the airport through a random voicemail. The holidays have always been difficult for me because I haven’t yet been able to let go of the past. Feeling disappointed by both parents has brought me to the conclusion that holidays, family time, and love are for suckers. I really miss the big parties my parents used to throw when they were together. I think I took it for granted. I used to complain about the loud karaoke all the adults were singing in a language I didn’t quite comprehend at a reasonable level. I’m more conversational Cantonese. Every year around the holidays, I yearn for those days when we were together as a family. In my fantasy world, my father never cheated on my mother, he never left our family, and my mother never took the guy’s side when I was violated. Of course fantasies only belong in movies and books. In real life, my fantasies turn themselves inside out and claim their stake in my heart in the form of a hard truth. And so every year around the holidays, I try to find some kind of distraction that will keep me smiling.

This year, I got the chance to see my favorite guy in the whole wide world, Will Friedle. Fortunately, the chance came before the holidays began so I was happy to have him as my distraction. I really needed him and he has no idea how much our interaction truly means to me. Whenever my mind begins to wander into the past, I can feel the tears start to fall and I have to remind myself all the wonderful experiences I’ve had this year. I am very thankful for many things that have happened this year and of course, the most recent, seeing Will was the cherry on top. Now I can have a pleasant experience to think back on to make me smile. I would have to say out of the three experiences I have had with Will, this one was the best. I mean, well, of course the first one was superb since it was a moment I had waited so long for. And the second one was amazing because I didn’t think he would recognize me but he did. But this time, I actually got to talk to him without someone else rushing me out of a line. I wasn’t on a time limit and that was my favorite part, talking to him like a regular human being. I was a bit nervous at first but I eventually got over it and began to be myself and enjoy being there with him. My friend captured the whole thing on video. I love being able to look back on it and relive the experience. If you see this Will, I just wanted to say thank you. You are one of my favorite people too and I am extremely thankful for you. No words can express how much I absolutely adore you.

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Got to take the eyebrow pic with him, something I’ve been wanting to do for awhile!
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